"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet?"

Carly came back to Erie with me for Labor Day weekend and it marked the first time she would have extended exposure to my parents and also the longest time we will have spent together in a car (the time from Philly to Erie is about 6.5 hours). Erie itself was a great time. I took Carly around the local shopping joints, ate at Quaker Steak and Lube, partied at the Erie "Bar Scene", and watched the sunset together on the "beaches" of Lake Erie.

Despite the nice weekend together, there was still a little bit of anxiety for Carly because on the first night while Carly and my Mom had a long conversation about anything and everything, Mother Ngo mentioned how my family was still weary and uncomfortable that I was engaged and marrying an SWF (single white female). To explain my Mom, she likes to say whatever is on her mind in very straight forward manner and sometimes leave out some of the details so that whoever is listening, sometimes its easy to take it the wrong way.

Now I'll be very clear, my parents in NO WAY have any reservations about Carly or disapprove of the engagement (see: earlier post where my Mom helped pick the ring).

As a first generation, oldest male from my Dad's side, there were expectations (almost mandatory) that I would marry a Vietnamese girl. Almost like a blind arranged marriage. If not Vietnamese, at least Asian. In truth, I've never dated an Asian girl for whatever reason. I don't have anything against Asian girls, its just that there was never one that was my type or I felt would be worthwhile being in a relationship with. My parents all along saw that I dated outside of my race and when I joked about marrying someone not Asian, they would give me the canned, "Well, as long as she loves you and you're happy then we're happy" response. To an extent I think that's true, but I know there's raised eyebrows and side talk that I'm going to marry outside of my race.

The other concern is that I'll lose all traditions that identify my culture. I'll admit, it will be kinda be funny having a room half full of Asians on one side and half full of White folks on the other, especially when the dancing music starts and it becomes more pronounced when all the Asians are still sitting at their tables and the White folks are tearing up the dance floor. Language will be another challenge as most of my relatives know English but aren't very fluent or have a thick accent. I can see a lot of awkward moments and tension. Carly has been very diligent in learning about the Vietnamese culture and trying to incorporate those elements into the wedding festivities so we get the best of both worlds. I'm confident everything will work out.

The big picture is its not an Asian marrying a White person scenario. Its going to be celebrating (and partying) the love Carly and I share for each other. They say love is blind. I'd like to say its color blind as well.