One year later

Well, it is just about that time. Quoc and I are reaching our 1st year of being engaged. It's amazing, time really does fly by. I won't lie, wedding planning thus far has been frustrating. We spoke about getting married when we were dating and we both agreed that we wouldn't get married while I was in school. It really isn't feasible. However, this makes planning a little, well, different. Things don't follow the normal timeline. How far ahead of time can you plan something? Will that place you are planning to use for catering or flowers still be in business in 2+ years? Quoc and I have many ideas of what we want to happen at our wedding, many of them conflict with the strict regulations facilities impose. So we decided to have the American ceremony and reception at my parents home. Well, that puts restrictions on when we can have the wedding. Our original idea of having the wedding in November when I graduate is not feasible due to the weather. We then thought about stretching it into early October b/c most of my heavy school stuff may be at a lull at that moment. For my parents, October would be stretching it with the pool and weather, and for me and Quoc it would be stretching it with school. Wow, now what? Well the next time that would work would be Spring of 2011. But in all honesty it would be the best option, I will be done school (hopefully earning some $). The weather will be nice and the yard will be in bloom. I'm excited to have a date (estimated June 4th 2011). It gives me something to look forward to while I'm in school. Hopefully it will give us time to do all of the things big and small that we want for this special day. Man after 3 years we better live up to all of the hype! Haha.
3 years of being engaged sounds like a long time, but wow one year has passed already! We decided to celebrate our engagement and we used my "spring break" to do something nice. Originally Quoc had wanted to take me somewhere, but I knew I'd still have school work to do and some other things around the house that we nixed that idea. Instead we took a day to ourselves in Philly. Living in a house with multiple people and being the social people that we are, we rarely have much time to ourselves. So on Thursday Quoc took the day off for our date. We both went for a run in the morning and then caught the train downtown. Our first stop was Sabrina's in the Italian market for brunch with mimosas. After that we walked to jeweler's row to get my ring appraised. I know I know, it has been a year and we haven't done this yet. Honestly I was scared to take it any place I didn't know anything about. Unfortunately after finding a good place, we didn't realize you needed an appointment. Woops, honestly who needs an appointment on a Thursday afternoon. After that we both got a massage at the Philadelphia Massage School. Lily got us gift certificates and we finally made it down to get one. It was Quoc's first time having a massage and we both enjoyed it. Then after taking a detour through Reading terminal market for some browsing it was off to Rittenhouse for some afternoon drinks and people watching. We first hit up Drinkers, then over to Tequilas for a margarita. The last stop on our route for the day was a BYOB birthday dinner for Di with good friends, good eats, and of course good drinks! It was a beautiful day and I couldn't have enjoyed it anymore just walking around the city enjoying spending time together.

Sip n' Scan

I got an email thru theknot.com about our registry at Macy's. We signed up at Macy's so my Mom had things she could buy us for christmas and birthdays but haven't put much on it. This email informed us about an event coming up at Macy's in KOP and downtown Philly. Basically it is called a sip n' scan. We go to the Macy's, meet up with our own personal wedding assistant to help us with our registry, and have drinks and appetizers while we scan items. Quoc is away this week at a sales meeting so we won't be able to go to the one in KOP, so we'll be heading downtown to register next week. I was surprised that Quoc wanted to go...I think the promise of drinks to get him through it helps haha. We'll let you know how it goes. 

Starting to piece together

One of the biggest decisions for the wedding is what type of wedding we want to have; setting, style, time of the year, etc. One of our ideas was to have a champagne reception, a couple of friends of mine had been to champagne receptions and loved them. What a champagne reception is, is basically a full cocktail party with heavy hors d'Oeuvres and open bar the entire night. No formal sit down but plenty to eat and drink. However, most reception sites require a formal sit down dinner because that is where they make there money. 

So at this point we are seriously considering having the wedding ceremony and reception at my parents house. We have a large wooded backyard in the "country." This way we could do a lot more of the "fun" stuff that we want to do and not be hampered by strict regulations at a reception site. This would also mean that a November wedding would be too cold to have outside. So most likely we would do the first weekend in October 2010. Nothing is set in stone yet but at this point we are definitely leaning in that direction. We'll keep you updated.
Here are some pics from my parents house from Kara's wedding:

Sorry

We've been kinda slacking with this blog. Sorry, new posts soon I promise.

Registry

With just about 2 years to go wedding plans have been kind of erratic. It is hard figuring out what we should set in stone now, and what we should wait on. Some things are good to plan early while others are better to wait on. Overall we have our wedding mapped out, it is just a matter of setting aside the finances and putting those ideas in stone.

One of the plans in question now is the registry. Registries are a funny thing, at this day and age the majority of couples live together prior to getting married, so many items you would register for you already have. My mom has asked that we start putting some things on a registry to help the family get things we need in the meantime for holidays and birthdays. Again, it is hard to figure out what you'll need now or in a couple years down the road. No I don't think I'll use a good china set in our house in Conshohocken, but will we want one down the road when we have a bigger space to entertain in? 

Quoc also made a good point that people register for things based on the idea that if they had it they would use it. Like a milkshake maker or some other contraption. I also can't see spending a ridiculous amount of money on some object when I can get the exact same thing at Marshalls for a fraction of the price.

At this point we decided to make a list of everything we really wanted and could use (and would use) before we made any decisions. Until then we will just make wish lists for our holidays and birthdays. 

Hairy decisions

 For the past 4 or 5 years my hair hasn't been past my shoulders. I used to have pretty long hair but throughout the past years I haven't had the patience to grow it out. My hair actually grows pretty fast which has allowed me to try quite a number of different styles. When I got engaged I thought it would be nice to have my hair long for the wedding. 

About a week ago someone asked if I was going to tell Quoc he couldn't wear his spikey for the wedding. I said no, that's how he is, that is how I know him. I got to thinking, wouldn't it be strange for me to grow my hair out just to have it long for our wedding. Quoc has only known me with short hair, so why would I change it for one day? I sent out a poll via email and facebook to see what everyone thought about it. I know I have 2 years, so I have time to grow it out if I want. But thanks to the marvels of modern beauty I could have my hair super short and just get extensions the day of the wedding if I really was inclined. Let me know what you think. Tomorrow I am going to the salon, regardless I need to touch up my highlights...maybe I'll get it cut.....

It begins...

Friday we are going to visit our first potential venue for our wedding. We had a place in mind for awhile but come to find out that it is already booked 2 years in advance for our potential weekend! This is one of the reasons we are looking 2 years in advance. Plus with me being in school we can plan everything else at our own pace as long as we have a place and date to have our wedding. We are pretty sure we know where we are going to have our rehersal dinner/Vietnamese ceremony. So we just have to find a place to have our American ceremony and we'll be in a good situation for planning. Even though I have had 2 sisters who went through this process, I have no idea what to expect. So hopefully all will go well, wish us luck!

Ceremony reading

So, I am procrastinating studying my anesthesia lectures and I came across a ceremony program from a friends wedding. I saved it because I really liked the reading that they used. Both Quoc and I have christian upbringings but chose not to have our ceremony in the church. Without going into an in depth posting on why we aren't having it in a church or our religious backgrounds; I am just going to say that I would like some religious traditions without being to formal or "preachy."

Anyway, this is the reading that my friend used that I really liked. Whether or not we use it is up in the air, we do have 2 years to decide.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet?"

Carly came back to Erie with me for Labor Day weekend and it marked the first time she would have extended exposure to my parents and also the longest time we will have spent together in a car (the time from Philly to Erie is about 6.5 hours). Erie itself was a great time. I took Carly around the local shopping joints, ate at Quaker Steak and Lube, partied at the Erie "Bar Scene", and watched the sunset together on the "beaches" of Lake Erie.

Despite the nice weekend together, there was still a little bit of anxiety for Carly because on the first night while Carly and my Mom had a long conversation about anything and everything, Mother Ngo mentioned how my family was still weary and uncomfortable that I was engaged and marrying an SWF (single white female). To explain my Mom, she likes to say whatever is on her mind in very straight forward manner and sometimes leave out some of the details so that whoever is listening, sometimes its easy to take it the wrong way.

Now I'll be very clear, my parents in NO WAY have any reservations about Carly or disapprove of the engagement (see: earlier post where my Mom helped pick the ring).

As a first generation, oldest male from my Dad's side, there were expectations (almost mandatory) that I would marry a Vietnamese girl. Almost like a blind arranged marriage. If not Vietnamese, at least Asian. In truth, I've never dated an Asian girl for whatever reason. I don't have anything against Asian girls, its just that there was never one that was my type or I felt would be worthwhile being in a relationship with. My parents all along saw that I dated outside of my race and when I joked about marrying someone not Asian, they would give me the canned, "Well, as long as she loves you and you're happy then we're happy" response. To an extent I think that's true, but I know there's raised eyebrows and side talk that I'm going to marry outside of my race.

The other concern is that I'll lose all traditions that identify my culture. I'll admit, it will be kinda be funny having a room half full of Asians on one side and half full of White folks on the other, especially when the dancing music starts and it becomes more pronounced when all the Asians are still sitting at their tables and the White folks are tearing up the dance floor. Language will be another challenge as most of my relatives know English but aren't very fluent or have a thick accent. I can see a lot of awkward moments and tension. Carly has been very diligent in learning about the Vietnamese culture and trying to incorporate those elements into the wedding festivities so we get the best of both worlds. I'm confident everything will work out.

The big picture is its not an Asian marrying a White person scenario. Its going to be celebrating (and partying) the love Carly and I share for each other. They say love is blind. I'd like to say its color blind as well.

Wedding Entertainment

I think Carly mentioned at one time (and I would agree) that the main thing people remember at a wedding is the food, the alcohol and the music. I've started to think about what kind of music I'd want at our wedding. Carly and I have already started debating on what the first dance song should be but we have a long time to decide on that. Apparently Freak Me by Silk isn't an option...just kidding :-P

After attending a number of weddings, I've seen the mix between live band and DJ. I'd say I'm somewhat of a music snob in terms of songs and play lists. If anyone's been to a Quoctail or Birthday Extravaganza, they know I take seriously what types of songs are played and in what order. I think that a live band is a way to go to really get the party started but there are certain songs that you need to hear the original for which is where it makes sense to have a DJ. The last thing I want is to have our first dance song covered by a live band and it sound like a Friday night karaoke version. I'm starting to think that doing both is the way to go. I technically don't even need a DJ...I'll just queue up the old laptop to fill in.

I have no idea what live band to pick (anyone have recommendations?) but I've joked all along that by the time Carly and I are married, it should be reasonable in price to have Boyz II Men sing at our wedding and just do Motown covers all night. Now that would be sweet!