Registry

With just about 2 years to go wedding plans have been kind of erratic. It is hard figuring out what we should set in stone now, and what we should wait on. Some things are good to plan early while others are better to wait on. Overall we have our wedding mapped out, it is just a matter of setting aside the finances and putting those ideas in stone.

One of the plans in question now is the registry. Registries are a funny thing, at this day and age the majority of couples live together prior to getting married, so many items you would register for you already have. My mom has asked that we start putting some things on a registry to help the family get things we need in the meantime for holidays and birthdays. Again, it is hard to figure out what you'll need now or in a couple years down the road. No I don't think I'll use a good china set in our house in Conshohocken, but will we want one down the road when we have a bigger space to entertain in? 

Quoc also made a good point that people register for things based on the idea that if they had it they would use it. Like a milkshake maker or some other contraption. I also can't see spending a ridiculous amount of money on some object when I can get the exact same thing at Marshalls for a fraction of the price.

At this point we decided to make a list of everything we really wanted and could use (and would use) before we made any decisions. Until then we will just make wish lists for our holidays and birthdays. 

Hairy decisions

 For the past 4 or 5 years my hair hasn't been past my shoulders. I used to have pretty long hair but throughout the past years I haven't had the patience to grow it out. My hair actually grows pretty fast which has allowed me to try quite a number of different styles. When I got engaged I thought it would be nice to have my hair long for the wedding. 

About a week ago someone asked if I was going to tell Quoc he couldn't wear his spikey for the wedding. I said no, that's how he is, that is how I know him. I got to thinking, wouldn't it be strange for me to grow my hair out just to have it long for our wedding. Quoc has only known me with short hair, so why would I change it for one day? I sent out a poll via email and facebook to see what everyone thought about it. I know I have 2 years, so I have time to grow it out if I want. But thanks to the marvels of modern beauty I could have my hair super short and just get extensions the day of the wedding if I really was inclined. Let me know what you think. Tomorrow I am going to the salon, regardless I need to touch up my highlights...maybe I'll get it cut.....

It begins...

Friday we are going to visit our first potential venue for our wedding. We had a place in mind for awhile but come to find out that it is already booked 2 years in advance for our potential weekend! This is one of the reasons we are looking 2 years in advance. Plus with me being in school we can plan everything else at our own pace as long as we have a place and date to have our wedding. We are pretty sure we know where we are going to have our rehersal dinner/Vietnamese ceremony. So we just have to find a place to have our American ceremony and we'll be in a good situation for planning. Even though I have had 2 sisters who went through this process, I have no idea what to expect. So hopefully all will go well, wish us luck!

Ceremony reading

So, I am procrastinating studying my anesthesia lectures and I came across a ceremony program from a friends wedding. I saved it because I really liked the reading that they used. Both Quoc and I have christian upbringings but chose not to have our ceremony in the church. Without going into an in depth posting on why we aren't having it in a church or our religious backgrounds; I am just going to say that I would like some religious traditions without being to formal or "preachy."

Anyway, this is the reading that my friend used that I really liked. Whether or not we use it is up in the air, we do have 2 years to decide.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet?"

Carly came back to Erie with me for Labor Day weekend and it marked the first time she would have extended exposure to my parents and also the longest time we will have spent together in a car (the time from Philly to Erie is about 6.5 hours). Erie itself was a great time. I took Carly around the local shopping joints, ate at Quaker Steak and Lube, partied at the Erie "Bar Scene", and watched the sunset together on the "beaches" of Lake Erie.

Despite the nice weekend together, there was still a little bit of anxiety for Carly because on the first night while Carly and my Mom had a long conversation about anything and everything, Mother Ngo mentioned how my family was still weary and uncomfortable that I was engaged and marrying an SWF (single white female). To explain my Mom, she likes to say whatever is on her mind in very straight forward manner and sometimes leave out some of the details so that whoever is listening, sometimes its easy to take it the wrong way.

Now I'll be very clear, my parents in NO WAY have any reservations about Carly or disapprove of the engagement (see: earlier post where my Mom helped pick the ring).

As a first generation, oldest male from my Dad's side, there were expectations (almost mandatory) that I would marry a Vietnamese girl. Almost like a blind arranged marriage. If not Vietnamese, at least Asian. In truth, I've never dated an Asian girl for whatever reason. I don't have anything against Asian girls, its just that there was never one that was my type or I felt would be worthwhile being in a relationship with. My parents all along saw that I dated outside of my race and when I joked about marrying someone not Asian, they would give me the canned, "Well, as long as she loves you and you're happy then we're happy" response. To an extent I think that's true, but I know there's raised eyebrows and side talk that I'm going to marry outside of my race.

The other concern is that I'll lose all traditions that identify my culture. I'll admit, it will be kinda be funny having a room half full of Asians on one side and half full of White folks on the other, especially when the dancing music starts and it becomes more pronounced when all the Asians are still sitting at their tables and the White folks are tearing up the dance floor. Language will be another challenge as most of my relatives know English but aren't very fluent or have a thick accent. I can see a lot of awkward moments and tension. Carly has been very diligent in learning about the Vietnamese culture and trying to incorporate those elements into the wedding festivities so we get the best of both worlds. I'm confident everything will work out.

The big picture is its not an Asian marrying a White person scenario. Its going to be celebrating (and partying) the love Carly and I share for each other. They say love is blind. I'd like to say its color blind as well.

Wedding Entertainment

I think Carly mentioned at one time (and I would agree) that the main thing people remember at a wedding is the food, the alcohol and the music. I've started to think about what kind of music I'd want at our wedding. Carly and I have already started debating on what the first dance song should be but we have a long time to decide on that. Apparently Freak Me by Silk isn't an option...just kidding :-P

After attending a number of weddings, I've seen the mix between live band and DJ. I'd say I'm somewhat of a music snob in terms of songs and play lists. If anyone's been to a Quoctail or Birthday Extravaganza, they know I take seriously what types of songs are played and in what order. I think that a live band is a way to go to really get the party started but there are certain songs that you need to hear the original for which is where it makes sense to have a DJ. The last thing I want is to have our first dance song covered by a live band and it sound like a Friday night karaoke version. I'm starting to think that doing both is the way to go. I technically don't even need a DJ...I'll just queue up the old laptop to fill in.

I have no idea what live band to pick (anyone have recommendations?) but I've joked all along that by the time Carly and I are married, it should be reasonable in price to have Boyz II Men sing at our wedding and just do Motown covers all night. Now that would be sweet!

Couples who work out together....

So as of yesterday I am officially the proud owner of a new road bike. I've been trying new things to get back into shape for awhile. This spring I began taking spinning classes and really got into it. For my birthday Quoc got me cycle shoes and I started getting more into my spin classes. Quoc got himself all geared up with a new road bike to train for his triathalons. The plan, now that we are both all geared up, is that we can start working out more together. I am not much of a runner at all and at least with a bike I have a fighting chance to keep up with Quoc. Haha.

Today I nervously took it out with my clips and made it down the steep hills of Conshy back to the bike trails. Everything went well and even ran into some friends along the trail. I really hope biking will be my new fitness niche. Got to get wedding ready! Haha. Anyone who wants to join along a couple of friends and I are doing the City to Shore Ride for MS. 

Bachelor Party

The posts have slowed down a bit. . .maybe because there's a little under two and a half years until the wedding on November 20, 2010. While Carly is thinking about some of the details for the wedding, I've already begun thinking about bachelor parties. Yes, plural. There will definitely be more than just one bachelor party.

The idea is to definitely do on in Erie and then probably an international destination. One of the main things I want to do is make the bachelor party unique. An unforgettable, guy bonding experience sans strippers but lots and lots of drinking.

The ideas so far:

1) Do a relay triathlon where we all split up into teams and tackle a different leg (swim, bike, run).

2) Jumping out of a plane aka Sky diving.



3) Half mile run for your life aka Running of the Bulls in Pampalona, Spain. Realistically, only 15 people have been killed since 1910 so its not as dangerous as people think it is. Interestingly, approximately 14 people are killed each year sky diving.



4) Biggest Food Fight. Ever. aka La Tomatina!



5) Mexico (blah, but an idea nonetheless)

Wedding Season

There comes a point in your lives when you stop going to 21st birthday bar nights and graduation parties from college and start going to Weddings, showers, and "gasp" baby showers. I think Quoc and I have about at least 6 weddings within a years span. I'm in 2 of those weddings, and have 4 wedding showers to go to. We have four neighbors we are friends with; one of our neighbors got married last november, another gets married this weekend. One just had a baby, another is due later this summer. And the last neighbor we are friends with got engaged the same week as we did. There must be something in the water haha. We're in one of those growing up transition periods in life. When do you stop going to all night binge fests and start going to couples dinners and kids birthday parties? I think the best thing to remember through all this is balance. We still go out and have fun but we also get up early and do house stuff and couples things. Well Quoc gets up early....

Weddings and showers are not only a part of an adult transition period. They can be a lot of fun, open bars, dancing, good food, and good people. Plus you get a lot of ideas for your own wedding. The fun does come with a price though. With shower gifts, bachelor/bachelorette parties, travel costs, and wedding gifts....and then multiply that by six you can really break bank. So we try to cut costs where we can. One thing that is nice about having your two older sisters getting married before you is that you get a lot of pass-me-downs. It is probably the one time pass-me-downs are good. Everything from votives, baskets, to veils, and corset bras haha. But one thing said, I haven't regretted any of the money or time spent for any of the weddings or baby showers I have been to. I feel like Katherine Heigel in 27 Dresses. You enjoy doing nice things for those being honored and feel good sharing their happy moment. And when it comes time for you to have your moment. Those people who you've helped will be there for you during your happy moment.

A Typical Vietnamese Wedding in Vietnam

According to Vi:

They had fireworks and a laser show. I feel to maximize wedding day you should do what Uncle 7 did with the church wedding in the morning and a reception at night. Carly then gets three dresses and if you do the whole vietnamese custom of getting the bride she gets 4 dresses! But at the reception at night, the bride and groom are there 2 hours before everyone gets there to take individual pictures, once thats over there is an announcement and the lights go off and theres lasers and music and then the lights come on and the couple walk down the aisle to the stage followed by people with umbrellas and fireworks go off on the side as you walk down. After that the bride changed her dresss and the couple went to every table to toast. What are your plans? Cause if they dont include lasers, fireworks, dancers and a live four piece band, youve been upstaged oh and the 7 course meal.